


A Knife's Edge

by Eclectic_Goddess



Category: Spartacus Series (TV), Spartacus: Vengeance
Genre: Canon Gay Relationship, Episode 3x04, Heartbreak, Multi, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-13
Updated: 2014-04-13
Packaged: 2018-01-19 05:45:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1458001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eclectic_Goddess/pseuds/Eclectic_Goddess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All she had left was hope, and she hated it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Knife's Edge

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers though 3x4, "Empty Hands".
> 
>  
> 
> Written February, 2012. Previously posted on Livejournal.

They ran. The Romans found them. They fought. Some of them died. Then they ran again.

Naevia ran when the others ran and stopped when the others stopped. She didn’t fight when the others fought, though as their numbers dwindled, Spartacus put a knife in her hand and she clutched it with all the strength she had left. She didn’t tell them that she held it not for use against the Romans that dogged them, but to take her own life when the last of her hope was lost.

Hope. It had become a thing alien to her, long dead but even now beating painfully against her breast. It had reawaked at the sound of Crixus’s voice, the touch of his hands on her skin, the smell and heat of him and his arms around her. Then he’d been torn away from her, a promise kept and broken in the same moment. All she had left was hope, and she hated it.

The boy, Nasir, had helped Mira carry her when her legs no longer held. Naevia wondered who he was, where he’d come from, and why he fought with them. It was clear that he was no gladiator, but he was fierce with a blade. When the Roman sword found way between his ribs, he was defending Mira, who was defending Naevia. From then, Spartacus carried the boy, and when it they stopped, Naevia crouched beside him as though she had protection to offer.

Not protection, perhaps, but the edge of her blade. It would be a kindness compared to being taken by the Romans once more.

The sun was just breaking through the trees when the voices behind them brought them to a halt once more. Again Naevia knelt with knife clutched in hand, Nasir beside her. Mira and Spartacus stood side by side, swords ready, prepared to fight to the end. The shadows grew between the trees, first a few, then a dozen, then more. Too many.

Naevia closed her eyes and thought of Crixus. She wished to think of him as he was, a god in the arena, a powerful and fearless man. Instead she could only think of him in the mines, weaponless and wild and smeared with foul mud. She’d never seen him look at her with so much love. It was that look that had given her back hope. The pain of it was almost unbearable now.

Then the shadows became men, and they were no Romans. She saw familiar faces, gladiators and slaves she’d known a lifetime ago. It seemed impossible, as though she’d slipped into a dream from a long nightmare. One of the men passed Spartacus and Mira to come to where she crouched with Nasir. She knew him. He had been a gladiator. One of two German brothers. She tried to remember his name but could not.

It did not matter, as he spared her no look. He could only see Nasir. He lifted the boy’s chin and peered anxiously into his face. Nasir’s eyes fluttered open. He smiled weakly before closing his eyes and letting his head fall once more. The German did not take his hand away, but stayed there, as though content to touch him, to feel Nasir’s breath on his wrist.

Something in his face reminded Naevia of Crixus, the way he used to look at her, when she was still pure and beautiful and his. When they had still shared hope, and it hadn’t only been this cold half-dead thing flailing inside her chest. She thought again of Crixus in the mines, of the love for her that must have driven him to that awful place. Of his hope.

Slowly, carefully, Naevia put down the knife.

 

THE END


End file.
